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Helmut hated waiting. Patience is a virtue, but Helmut wasn’t particularly
virtuous. He knew that waiting was part of his job, but that
didn’t mean that he had to like it. But the wait would soon be
over.
Gunther motioned to Helmut from the passenger seat. Their prey was exiting the building. Dr. Wiedeking, head of Porsche AG, typically worked late and drove home alone. They knew the good doctor’s path home well, as they had been watching him for several weeks. The watching would end tonight.
They let Dr. Wiedeking get in his car and disappear around the corner. Helmut then started their car and eased it into first gear. Their black BMW 540i didn’t have as much horsepower as the doctor’s prototype 911 Turbo, but they would have surprise on their side. As Helmut put his coffee into the cup holder, he was glad that German cars started including this epitome of American driving. Cup holders are so convenient. He just wished he hadn’t drank almost all of his coffee before starting out. He would just have to wait.
Helmut started to draw close to the 911 as they approached the autobahn. Gunther, who had been quietly fondling his weapon all night, was at the ready. Gunther has been Helmut’s partner for many years now, but Helmut didn’t consider themselves "friends." He had made it a rule not to be friendly with psychopathic killers, especially Bavarian ones, and he wasn’t about to break his rule with Gunther. Still, he worried about his partner’s aberrations.
They were now moving quickly on the A63, passing a few cars on the autobahn heading into Stuttgart. Traffic was generally light at this time of night, so they could easily watch the 911. Helmut moved into the left lane and started to draw even with the 911 as Gunther took aim.
“Scheiße!” It was Gunther yelling. The 911 had suddenly bolted ahead as if whipped from behind. Helmut put in the clutch and dropped all the way down to 3rd gear. They weren’t catching the doctor, but he had slowed down the rate that he was pulling away. Was the doctor somehow tipped off? Or was he just a typical Porsche driver who didn’t like the idea of getting passed?
Helmut did his best to keep up with the Porsche, but it kept pulling away. Luck was on their side, however, as Dr. Wiedeking had to slow for some traffic ahead, and he didn’t seem to be aware that he was being followed. Unfortunately, they would now have to switch to their backup plan as they weren’t able to take the good doctor out, back there on a lonely stretch of autobahn.
Gunther was momentarily disappointed. Gunther’s weapon is ultrasonic. It emits high-energy pulses which can generate heat, in this case in the rear tire of the Porsche. Using a gun would leave an unsightly bullet hole. Besides, nobody used guns anymore -- except in Quentin Tarantino movies.
Dr. Wiedeking’s car was now approaching his exit. Helmut and Gunther were right behind as Gunther pointed his weapon again. Halfway up the exit ramp on the inside of the turn, a third partner, Michel, was to shine an ultra-bright arc lamp at Dr. Wiedeking as he negotiated the ramp. Coupled with a blown rear tire and the doctor’s propensity for fast corners, it should be sufficient to send the Porsche into a spin and into a ditch filled with gasoline from a tanker that had conveniently spilled some of its contents here yesterday. They were getting paid a lot of money for this job, and customer satisfaction is half of their group’s mission statement. Killing people is the other half.
But the pressing need at the moment was to take out the tire. Helmut followed the Porsche into the exit at a high rate of speed as Gunther prepared to fire his weapon. All too late, Helmut realized that while the Porsche was taking the corner easily, his own car wasn’t going to do the same. They began to veer out of control as Helmut jumped on the brake and cranked on the steering wheel as he tried to muscle the car around the turn. Distracted by the skidding BMW, Michel mis-fired the arc lamp, completely missing Dr. Wiedeking, as he watched the BMW head directly for him.
Helmut met Michel’s eyes, almost literally, as he hit Michel and headed straight for the ditch. Helmut’s last thought was that the explosion and fire to follow would make Hollywood special effects people proud.
Further up the ramp, Dr. Wiedeking caught the accident in his mirrors through his peripheral vision. He quickly pulled over and dialed the polizei on his cell phone. “Poor bastards,” he thought.
All right -- maybe this is a little self-serving (and I’m not quite Clancy), but this is a Posche newsletter, isn’t it? You can insert your own car makes in there if you want. The BIG question is: which part of the car do you think hit Michel, and why? You can e-mail me your answer. I’ll give prizes to the answers that I like the best, or to whomever I feel like. Engineers out there get bonus points if you include a free-body diagram.
| << April 1999<< | >> June 1999>> |
(The BahnStormer is the official newsletter of the Rally Sport Region (Detroit area) of the Porsche Club of America. You can contact the editor at .)
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