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Left-Hand Rules

I’m sure that by now, I must have offended some of the German club members out there with how I’ve portrayed Germany (and Germans) in past articles. I’d like to be fair, so this month I’ll try to offend other cultures, starting with the English, and by asking the eternal question: why don’t they drive on the “right” side of the road?

It must have something to do with being on an island. Japan, New Zealand and Australia (if you consider this continent/country to be a really big island, too) all drive on the left side of the road. And although from these countries I’ve only driven in England, I’m sure people from all of these countries are very good drivers. It’s just that they’re on the wrong side of the road when they drive. But that’s not what I truly find annoying.

What drives me crazy is that I always end up sitting in the passenger side of a British car when I drive, and wondering who the hell took the steering wheel. Then I have to look non-chalant as I walk to the other side of the car, trying not to look too American.

Next let’s talk about shifting. Ignore for a moment that you freak out every time a car goes by the other way on the right side of the road. Forget that every time you look at the rear view mirror, you’re actually gazing out your window staring into the distant horizon. And disregard your disconcertion with not knowing what any of the traffic signs might mean. When the light turns green, and your right hand starts fumbling around the armrest-mounted window switch on the door instead of the gear shift while cars are tooting their horns at you, this is befuddlement.

Then there are the traffic circles. I know these aren’t just in England, but they seem to be everywhere here. Can’t they afford traffic lights? I did find two advantages with traffic circles, however. If you’re not entirely sure where to go, you can circle indefinitely until you get your bearings and figure out where you have to go. I got this little trick from Chevy Chase in the film European Vacation. What’s the second advantage? It’s a free skid pad.

I do have to admit after a while, one can become used to this kind of driving (it helps to be slightly dyslexic, I think). It does take a minute, however, to re-orient yourself back to “normal” vehicles after making such an effort to remember which door leads to the driver’s side of the car.

So is driving on the “right” side of the road really better than on the left? Like with many things in life, it’s merely different. I think it’s natural to believe that the way one was brought up is always the “correct” ways to do things. I complain about a lot of things in Germany, and how the American way is better. While this is of course true, I have to remember to other people, it’s merely different. We need to be more tolerant of the driving preferences of others, even if they drive BMWs. Only then can all of the drivers in the world unite.

And for next month, I’ll be vacationing somewhere on the Mediterranean in southern France, where I’ll be gathering data on why the French drive funny. Until then, keep right except to pass!

(EMan is an American expatriate living in Germany, trying to cope without a Porsche in the autobahn.)

Addendum

The French are obviously insane. Or at least, they drive like they are, by American standards. By French standards, obviously it’s business as unusual.

Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but only if you drive outside of Paris. In Paris, all rules are off. Think the movie Rendezvous, only much, much slower. It’s easy to recognize a car from Paris. There are two things to look for. First, the license plate ends with the number 75. Second, there’s a giant scratch or dent on the car.

The best way to travel in France is by motorcycle, if you can avoid getting hit. With a motorcycle, you can go to the front at a traffic light, ride in-between lanes, or pass everyone in traffic jams.

Outside of Paris, think “tailgating, but closer.” Drivers will follow other cars very closely, rain or shine, night or day. I guess it makes passing easier for some people. This causes wonderful random traffic jams on the autoroutes (tollways). On two-lane roads, well, they’ll eventually pass you, so it’s not an issue.

The French tailgating differs slightly from German tailgating. In Germany, people tailgate on the autobahn to let you know that they have the divine right to drive insanely fast night or day, rain or shine, and to pass you so get the hell out of the way, even if you are Michael Schumacher.

So this is how they do it in Germany. Say you’re driving along and trying to pass a car. Somewhere behind you is a big BMW/Audi/MB/Porsche that thinks you’re taking your time in passing. The drill is, they come up behind you as fast as possible, and slam on their brakes at the last moment if you’re still in the left lane. They will then continue to tailgate you until you acknowledge their overall superiority and move out of their way. (At least, that’s how I do it.)

Geez... and I thought we Americans were annoying drivers.

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(The BahnStormer is the official newsletter of the Rally Sport Region (Detroit area) of the Porsche Club of America. You can contact the editor at .)

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July 2001

Left-Hand Rules

Addendum